Tom Hiddleston, the X-rated Downton Abbey and life without Kanye (2024)

And all the hate. Things we learnt on the live blog today included:

• Cumberbatch fans are not to be messed with.
  
• Hiddleston fans are not to be messed with.
  
• Not everyone likes gifs, understands what live-blogging or enjoys jokes about pop culture.
  

Just to be clear let me direct you to the investigative side of the newspaper.

In all seriousness we thank you for stopping by, we here at the Guardian Guide Daily appreciate all of your comments and concern.

And suggest you go out an pick up a copy of our magazine this weekend. To prove the fun does not have to stop here is a Vine of our latest issue. If you do not know what a Vine is please follow the directions above.

*cue sports announcer voice.

In the most gruelling challenge faced by our two competitors today, the two villains go-head-to-head in a heated battle of bad boy hottie.

Sending the challenge out to you, the viewers of the internet, it seemed that Team Hiddleston was positioned for the win. Starting out strong with a string of #teamHiddy Tweets.

The battle took an unexpected turn when the Benediction began to take over team Hiddleston.

Stating your love for both stars. Things began to get a little bit creepy. And finally reached a head with this near stalker status Tweet.

The final result. You all love Cumberbatch and Hiddleston. But, like any parent, you love one child just a little bit more. It’s not because he is taller. Or more successful. It is just an innate feeling of understanding. Like you can totally see Hiddleston as your boyfriend, right?!

Cumberbatch One. Hiddleston Two.

Hiddleston WINS.

In celebration I have left you with another gif of Tom Hiddleston.

Sky Ferreira actually likes one of her own songs.

We fell in love with her debut My Night My Time and seeing as this track was never meant to see the light of day it is pretty exciting that we get a (nother) taste of the emotional acoustics that is Sky.

We agree with your vivid description of this track as ‘cool’. And therefore, will forgive the shame of you liking your own music.

It’s dreamy. It has a pink sunset. And it is getting us really excited about I Never Learn out on May 5.

Apparantly she does learn. And from none other than the most cited musical influencer in indy-pop history, David Lynch. It looks like they may have used the same pink sunset in both videos. Budgetting issues, I suppose.

Just like a soft-core drama Fallon has teased us with some bow-chicka-wow-wow music set to a heated Maggie Smith/ Allen Leech/ Laura Carmichael debate.

While Fallon’s scoring skills are no match to piano pings that are Downton. Could the show do with a little more seduction?

I think not. The sexual tension is ripe.

How can one deny:

The yearning gazes.

The swooning ladies.

Or Mary Crawley’s org*sm face.

It’s already more alluring than scented candles and dimmed LED lights.

The better sexy villain.

Last month Empire Magazine had a reader poll that revealed Hiddleston as the number two on the list of one hundred sexy stars and Cumberbatch as the number one.

I beg to differ. It could be the whole tortured artist thing Hiddleston has going on. Or that cinemas are currently showing him in a role as a suicidal-vampire-rockstar-unimpressed with his infinite life span.

Still the Benediction is contagious. That may be because anytime you type his name into google the term “girlfriend” pops up afterward.

Or it could be this.

He has that quircky-genius-sociopath-who can read tell you your future thing gong on.

Alas, I claim no expertise on choosing the sexiest of two villainous men. Amateur hour has come to an end and I hand over this final decision to the bin-rustling fans.

With the score at one for Cumberbatch and one for Hiddleston this will be tie breaking third round so your votes count.

Will it be:

The devilish Loki?

Or the ice cold Khan?

Send us your decision @guideguardian or in the comments below.

I will tally the points. Because Cumberbatch taught me how to count in first round.

The art of the surprised face.

*SHOCK* *AWE*

That perfect heightened brows, widened eyes and rounded mouth face that every Oscar hopeful has.

A face that any fan of Sherlock will know is a trademark of the show.

And Cumberbatch has nailed the oblong mouth expression.

*Not to be mistaken with his satisfied by Watson face.

*Or mine at the number of Cumberbatch/Hiddleston fans perusing the site right now. Don’t be disappointed by the lack of diehard fandom. I assure you, I am obsessed. Just not as obsessed as you are. Sorry. I do hope to reach stalker status soon.

Hiddleston seems to sport confusion with shifting eyes rather than wide-mouthed shock.

This may be because Hiddleston is, at heart, a bad boy. With a FALSE nude photo scandal under his belt he is an undeniable rebel.

Sometimes it is the subtleties that count.

But the oral curvature of Cumberbatch’s mouth have won him this round.

CUMBERBATCH ONE.

News hit that Tom Hiddleston has started filming Guillermo del Toro’s Crimson Peak replacing Benedict Cumberbatch in the 19th century horror flick.

The Pacific Rim director has cast Mia Wasikowska opposite Tom Hiddleston. And it is to be released in October of next year. The cast includes Jessica Chastain and Charlie Hunnam (of Sons of Anarchy fame)

All of this got me thinking about Cumberbatch and Hiddleston. Yes the two are buddies. Like two peas in one pod, really.

Let’s set them against one another. Two ultra-sexy British actors with a whole load of obsessive internet searchers in an amateur ring fight set over three rounds.

ROUND ONE.

Muppets. BING.

Hiddleston taught Cookie Monster that waiting to take a bite out of a cookie makes a cookie taste better.

He taught us that we wish we were that cookie. Go on Tom take a BITE.

Cumberbatch was also caught knowledge spreading on the Muppets. He taught Murray how to count. And told us his real name was Benedict. Not Sherlock. He also avoided hints at Sherlock’s sexual attraction to Watson.

No new lessons there.

HIDDLESTON ONE.

I wish there was an app for that.

He may have claimed his crown as the B (B as in Badass) -Movie action king. But really he is still rather coy about his super-badass stardom.

Who, me a bad-ass? No.

Just look at those piercing blue eyes. Who would have thought such a gently accented Irish actor could instil such obsession in American fans. Still he seems to be a pleasing star.

So pleasing that when this Adam Driver look-alike fan asked for a personalised threat from Mr. Neeson on Jimmy Kimmel he wilfully obliged.

Can you turn the lights down, please.

I think I just peed a little. And became (more) obsessed with Liam Neeson. Non-Stop is out today and it features Liam Neeson. On a plane. Boom.

His Yeezus tour gets a theatrical debut. Yes, his tour is being turned into a film.

Then again, it is Kanye and he is sort of a go-big-or-go-home kind of guy.

I often wonder what a world without Kanye would be like....

Instead of being a 35 minute ode to Kanye, Runaway would have been a Black Swan/Sunday dinner/ tasteful firework display set to the narration of a female rapper and a South American television news presenter.

Instead it was this.

Then again Bound 2 would just look like this.

Maybe it is better we just leave things the way they are.

Samuel L Jackson is there, Samuel L Jackson is everywhere! It’s SLJofficial on Instagram.

You can catch him in London and at the Academy Awards. On the same day. Virtually at the same time. Considering LFW ended 10 days ago. This may seem impossible. But not for Samuel L Jackson.

He was in Pulp Fiction. He was in Django Unchained. You may not remember but he was also in Inglorious Bastards ( Proof). He has white hair. He was compared to a pint of Guinness. And then he was named the highest grossing actor, winning a spot in the Guinness book of world records. He is basically a hero. Not of the Liam Neeson variety (we’ll get back to that later). But he did action on a plane much before 2014. Mother f*cking Snakes on a Mother f*cking plane.

And welcome to this Friday edition of the Guardian Guide Daily. I, Alexandra KA, will be guiding (geddit?) through the final day of the shortest month of the year. I have videos, musical tasties and many (many, many, many) gifs. So many that your eyes may just pop right out of their sockets. In excitement, of course. Alright then, let’s get started and do not forget to get at us on Twitter, email (guide@guardian.com.uk) or in the comments below.